We’re not always clear about our ability. As we overestimate our ability of finishing a goal, we also underestimate what we have done. I’m always thinking about what kind of people I am. Usually, my styles of doing is to build a plan at first, then I start to take an action. But sometimes I want to drift away my plan. I see myself as a taking-all-or-nothing people, and I think so most of people are. It’s really hard to say which doing style is right, because we always can find some examples representing each type of people. So far, my attitude is if we still haven’t figured out what we are really obsessed in, we should trust reasonable plans, though they are not always efficient, at least we can make sure they are effective. I see myself as normal people, and my only distinction with others is I like reflecting, like what i am doing now. by that, i can see my drawbacks continually.
I am going to say goodbye to Hangzhou until Aug 25th I leave here. Yesterday is the last day I stay in Ali Park where I have rented a working place for 4 months. During this period, I have studied iOS development, Figma design, LangChain crash course, and launched a handful of vibe-coding projects. This workspace gives me high performance of work, but with bad working atmosphere. It comes with comprehensive support services, e.g. network, printing, cleaning, so I just focus on my “work”. The problem of it is that it is still a working place, which means I always can see some “colleagues” calling or talking directly in their workstation. And I cannot let them go if I think they have bothered me because this place is coworking space. I think I am a sensitive person. Some people can ignore other people’s conversations, but I can’t. That’s why I always like working at night when the others have left work. But the condition is always uncertain. I can’t bet on whether my colleagues will talk.
I feel not bad since I start to journalize. I have done that 3 days. My mind becomes more and more clear and I have had a stronger self-control ability than before. Although I still check messages on my phone and watch some videos, the frequency has reduced a lot. So I should call it a progress.
But I still need to optimize myself. I should not be proud of that. Once we think we are great, that will be the beginning of bad things. Waiting for 90 seconds before starting an action is really helpful for avoiding to trap into addictive products.
I don’t feel very good. On June 30, I wrote an review. During this process for about 2 hours, my mind started to clear. I felt so bad at first. But slowly, I started to feel better. I started to focus on one thing. I paid all my attention to writing, one so simple thing. Peacefulness comes from process. We cannot get this state only by 5 minutes, if we are in a state of chaos. I should be patient to boredom, which means doing nothing. I should accept doing nothing. I am not a donkey or a monkey that is driven to finish tasks one after one other.
So what can you do? – I am sure that I need to stop looking for stimuli. I want to know what I should do next.
Actually, I ask this question many times since the beginning of this year. I tried something, then I gave up. But it’s ok. It’s acceptable. I should know that keep going is more important than any other thing.
Now, everything is ok. I almost finish everything. I finished Goethe A1 test but just yet don’t know the result, which I confidently estimate passed. And I delivered German Visa material on May 25. So now I just need to wait the result during the next 4 weeks. I know everything is ok.
It is time to consider what’s next.
I suppose that it will be full of possibility. I like writing in an independent place instead of at home, which is with zero productivity and full of tempts.
About one year ago, I planned to study iOS development. At that time, I was a backend and data development engineer. In 2024, I self-learned the Rust programming language by leveraging weekend time. Since the idea of building a personal project has always been on my mind, mastering iOS development seems like a natural next step. Over the past year, my learning has been intermittent. I failed to reach my goal until this year. I actually attempted to learn through the following resources: