About one year ago, I planned to study iOS development. At that time, I was a backend and data development engineer. In 2024, I self-learned the Rust programming language by leveraging weekend time. Since the idea of building a personal project has always been on my mind, mastering iOS development seems like a natural next step. Over the past year, my learning has been intermittent. I failed to reach my goal until this year. I actually attempted to learn through the following resources:
It has passed 45 days since I finished my GRE test in Dec 21, 2025. During this period, I didn’t do anything matching to call a milestone. I, inescapably, was affected by the environment, which lacks triggers of trying something hard yet is full of elements advising me to lie down.
I have changed my plan several times this month from preparing for IELTS test again, to studying vibe coding, to reading a book relevant to bitcoin. I am still confused what to do next.
Writing helps me organize my mind and think clear.
When I lived with myself, I had many whimsical thoughts about other people that I suppose representing sufficient possibilities. Now, after living two weeks with my relatives, my mind has changed. What I want to do and I can do has changed. I start to connect with my relatives and think in a way that is more similar to them. Original thoughts and plans have changed. I realize that reluctant emotion emerges. We influence others, vice versa.
Doing one thing in a good way is hard. We must focus on it so that neglecting other things that are also important.
So far, I have not figured out how to keep efficient. Insisting doing one thing is so boring that I unconsciously look for doing other things counteracting this feeling.
The second problem is loneliness. I am alone in my loft room and hardly ever talk with others. I think that probably results in psychology problems. In this condition, one single person starts to becoming odd gradually.