It has passed 45 days since I finished my GRE test in Dec 21, 2025. During this period, I didn’t do anything matching to call a milestone. I, inescapably, was affected by the environment, which lacks triggers of trying something hard yet is full of elements advising me to lie down.
I have changed my plan several times this month from preparing for IELTS test again, to studying vibe coding, to reading a book relevant to bitcoin. I am still confused what to do next.
Writing helps me organize my mind and think clear.
When I lived with myself, I had many whimsical thoughts about other people that I suppose representing sufficient possibilities. Now, after living two weeks with my relatives, my mind has changed. What I want to do and I can do has changed. I start to connect with my relatives and think in a way that is more similar to them. Original thoughts and plans have changed. I realize that reluctant emotion emerges. We influence others, vice versa.
Doing one thing in a good way is hard. We must focus on it so that neglecting other things that are also important.
So far, I have not figured out how to keep efficient. Insisting doing one thing is so boring that I unconsciously look for doing other things counteracting this feeling.
The second problem is loneliness. I am alone in my loft room and hardly ever talk with others. I think that probably results in psychology problems. In this condition, one single person starts to becoming odd gradually.
This month it rained a lot. It’s just like emotions, fulfilled by the rain but also damped and wrapped tightly by it. Of course, we saw sunshine sometimes. People in my hometown expect the good weather because dry lands make it possible collecting corns. All of them depend on the weather to live. We are similar. We depends on something in city, such as content consumers, personal consumers in supermarket or some businesses. All of them are unpredictable, even though personal endeavor plays a certain level role in it. A sentence in The Art Of War is “天时地利人和”, which orders these features. So don’t be so sad for current selves. You must be patient for good time.
I’m reading Building a Second Brain, which suggests me write more instead of only reading as input. I have experienced the effect of writing something about two or three years ago. But this year I is almost writing something shallow. One of possible reasons is I am changing slowly that results me thinking not hard. I try my best to insist on the journaling habit. Another reason is I think writing is wasting my time that means I have another high-priority assignments, even though it’s just what seems like. So why don’t I write more? Don’t care what to do is the best. Don’t care the perfectionism. Just follow what I like to do. At least, I can feel good and I believe it’s absolute worthwhile in a long-term way.