You don’t know how the right path should be, but you know the wrong.
Resigning the job is definitely the right decision. What is under the solitude is the fresh and new vigor. There is one period in this month in which due to I always being one person, I feel so lonely. Initially, I cannot live well with this state but I have learnt how to enjoy it now. Evenly, I find I have been reluctant to come back the previous lifestyle that the work seeps into your mind and seize it. The feeling of freedom is so wonderful! Confidence and engaging in learning brought me to the realization that I have the ability achieving my goal. Diving in what you are interested in will make your thought become the reality.
I know making a decision is always hard. Because we don’t know what will happen in the future. We love certainty. It’s acceptable if we consider this is a kind of not-bad lifestyle. However, reality is not matched with my current working state. So I have to change. I seek the call.
As I decided to commit my resignation in May 20th, work staff started to gradually decrease. I feel relaxed this month. I just finished work handover. I got a refreshed state that makes me energetic. It is like a dividing line before which I am busy and exhausted employee and after which I am a new person with empty background.
I travel here. Today is Friday. I’m going to leave my job. My last day for work is 3rd July. I can feel that I am coming back natural life state. Yes, I reallllllllly think work is toxic.
I start to think about my personal possibility. I am very engaging in learning English which I think there are some reasons make my state recover. There are still some other reasons.
Most of us recognize that our emotional state influence our behavior. When we are highly excited, we tend to challenge difficult goals. When we feel sad or mentally depleted, we may prefer to do nothing and even experience emotional pain. As a result, we often strive to maintain a positive state of mind. However, when I have free time, such as Sundays, I sometimes find myself uncertain about what I should do. I am aware that this may be considered a non-question, yet the dilemma persists: How should I use my free time?
I think most of us are poisoned deeply by work. One of key reasons is that we have become distracted and addicted to stimuli. I am the example. I am always in a hurry and overwhelmed by worry about tasks that have tight deadlines. I feel exhausted every day when I get home yet I still want to watch short-video on Bilibili or Rednote to relax. And I find my colleagues have the same habit. But on Saturdays when I am free, I do not feel the urge to engage in this behavior. Because I encountered this kind of situation many times, I already know how to handle it. However, I still believe that work is toxic.